Killer's Lullaby

I'm sittin at a coffee table
unable to see straight
Watchin parallel lines unwind and undulate
Behind the main street window pane the scene's bleak;
another train leavin' home,
conceding defeat with a low moan.

Hangin' in a sky made of stone
Everybody's leavin' home
I called my man Jerome
To come meet me in the Twilight Zone
Leave your mobile phone at home
and come alone.

I bought him coffee and a snack
settled back,
started speakin';
he was tweakin'
with the peak of his cap
while I'm seekin'
to discover what it takes
to stay sober
not cover my mistakes
try to maybe make sense
of the evidence,
it's over.
She's gone for good.
Why should I lie?
Singin' a killer's lullaby.
Identified by the dying ring of her goodbye;
the last thing ya hear
before ya life disappear.

"Is it better when you see her?"
Nah, it just gets worse.
Like my stomach'll burst
Feel like I been cursed
With seven centuries of bitter memories;
Inadequacies
of previous he's and she's
I'm movin' round this old house for the last time
Singin' my past crimes
Been here for lifetimes
Hearin' the chimes of the old clock
we used to mock
we got eternity for takin' stock;
This place is like a padlock.
You look shocked;
Trust me. Nothin' ever moves but the dust
There's just us
And I'm here to torment and tease
and that's how it was for centuries
Me and my memories
til you bought the keys,
took a couple Saturdays
An' moved in, runnin' from tragedies and boozin'
Seven hundred years since I came here
You appear, same hair, same quizzical stare

I couldn't get near
And the sheer frustration was more than I could bear.
I was really cursed
Thought I'd been through the worst part
That was just the first part
Just the start
Every night, I'd been sittin' with drink
Prickin' my heart
In case the man she'd been chasin'
Gets to first base'n
I just can't escape
I'm in bad shape
You makin' love to someone else is more than I can take
And so I make all the movement I can, to no avail
Scream and yell
Sinkin' deeper into my personal hell.

I'm gettin' heated, I'm sorry.
Have another coffee--
I needed to release my sparrow chest
from just a piece of this pressure
Unless an escape route is found
I'm goin' down underground
Into lifetimes of pain, it's absurd;
The heaviest chain is contained in the sound of one word.
So I'm referred back to hell.
Just as well; I hate needles and get twinges
at the thought of syringes.

J, I'm goin' insane with shame
I dream I watch her makin' love over and over again
With what I call a farmer's swine:
Unintelligent, Pea-brained retard,
whose dick is always hard
Oh god.
Of course I'm jealous,
fella's oversexed,
flexin' his pecs
Jesus, what's he gonna make her do next?
I'm mad vexed.
The way she gently scratches his chest.
Used to do that to me,
back in 1253.
Pity me, while you lie with your lover.
I stare and suffer in despair
While you ruffle his hair
Unaware of who else is there.

I move quick, I'm gonna try my trick one last time
You know it's possible to vaguely define
my outline
When dust move in the sunshine.
So I'm tryin' to change;
vibrate myself to near human pitch
Which remind me how I used to come unstitched
And switch round the house in a blind rage
It took years
and an ocean of tears
to find the key to this cage
advance another stage
into a new age
(huh.) it's difficult to gauge
but I know that I'll see you again,
on that you may depend.
I just don't know how or when.

She's gone, my lost lover.

Jerome took me home under steel skies
Knowing I'm prone to dramatize
But unknown for telling lies
And what I verbalize,
he can see behind my eyes.
But why oh why do I
identify killer lullabies
and he surmised.

No surprise, couldn't hear that
close my eyes as he steers
that old black BM(W?) home again,
not knowin' how or not knowin' when.

 

 

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